How has God been transforming
you from a person always wanting to be liked and accepted into someone who
simply wants to be obedient to the Lord, whatever the cost?
Learning to get past the need for being liked and accepted
is part of my personal journey. In the
past I put far more value in the opinions of others than being obedient to the
Lord. It is important to do what God
wants, which may not necessarily be what people expect of us and this can cause
people pleasers like myself to make poor choices when trying to please the
wrong master.
It's more important to concentrate on what God commands me
to do, than it is to worry about outward appearances. Obviously, there are times when the opinions
of others are part of the plan of God for my life. This is why it’s important that I seek counsel
from godly men and women and not popular culture or people who are trying to mold me into their world view.
What are the most debilitating
results of people pleasing? What has
this desire caused you to do (or not to do) in the past?
People pleasers like me try desperately to do the
impossible, make everyone happy. In fact no one is happy - including me. I try
to avoid anger and confrontation so I will attempt to “kill others with
kindness” as self-defense camouflage. In
a way I use this behavior as an attempt to control the situation and helping me
avoid negative outcomes.
I realize that this form of defense is rooted in my poor
self-esteem which in turn is from the physical, emotional and verbal abuse I
was subjected to growing up. As an adult
I have felt the need to be accepted by others. And not just a general
acceptance, but that of each person I come in contact with. Think about how CRAZY this is!
You see the problem is that as a practicing people pleaser, I
allowed myself to get beat up by the world around me, I would come home each
day in a state of despair
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