Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Blessed Reminder – A Heart Like His

 

The priest told him, “There is no ordinary bread on hand.  However, there is consecrated bread” (1Samuel 21:4)
When was the last time you reached out to your pastor, Sunday school teacher, or someone you regard as being “close to God”?  Why did you reach out to that particular person in your time of need?

While it may not have been the last time I reached out to my priest it was a conversation I will never forget.  As a Catholic, I equated the idea of divorce with failure.  I felt that once I was married I it was my job to do anything and everything to make the marriage work.
When my marriage deteriorated in a spiral of abuse and adultery I felt as if my life were over.  I worried that I had sinned greatly before God because if I had “been a better wife” things wouldn’t have gotten to that point.  It was easy to convince myself of this because of my low self-esteem made it easy to accept the blame that my ex-husband placed on me. 

When he beat me or cheated on me his “apology” would always begin “I wouldn’t have hit you (choked you, pushed you, etc) if you hadn’t….”  I never questioned this and always swore I would change to make him happy.  I would clean the house better, (smile more, smile less, lose weight, etc., etc) but no matter what I did or said there was always a next time.
When my ex-husband walked out on us I went to the priest for advice for him to pray for me, for my marriage.  What he said may surprise you considering Catholicism recognizes marriage as a sacrament.  He said, “Cathy, God did not create you to live a life filled with abuse.  He wants more for you than that.”

Originally I had worried about going to the priest.  I felt ashamed.  I had heard horror stories of abused women going to their priest only to be told that they must stay no matter what.  My priest was far more caring and he helped me so much when he told me that.
What do you remember them telling you or doing for you that made a huge impact on the future direction of your life?
Not only did my parish priest tell me that I was made for better but he also helped me find the help I needed to move forward through this painful time. 

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