The priest told him, “There is no ordinary bread on hand. However, there is consecrated bread” (1Samuel
21:4)
When was the last
time you reached out to your pastor, Sunday school teacher, or someone you
regard as being “close to God”? Why did
you reach out to that particular person in your time of need?
While it may not have been the last time I reached out to my
priest it was a conversation I will never forget. As a Catholic, I equated the idea of divorce
with failure. I felt that once I was
married I it was my job to do anything and everything to make the marriage
work.
When my marriage deteriorated in a spiral of abuse and adultery
I felt as if my life were over. I
worried that I had sinned greatly before God because if I had “been a better
wife” things wouldn’t have gotten to that point. It was easy to convince myself of this
because of my low self-esteem made it easy to accept the blame that my
ex-husband placed on me.
When he beat me or cheated on me his “apology” would always
begin “I wouldn’t have hit you (choked you, pushed you, etc) if you hadn’t….” I never questioned this and always swore I
would change to make him happy. I would
clean the house better, (smile more, smile less, lose weight, etc., etc) but no
matter what I did or said there was always a next time.
When my ex-husband walked out on us I went to the priest for
advice for him to pray for me, for my marriage.
What he said may surprise you considering Catholicism recognizes
marriage as a sacrament. He said, “Cathy,
God did not create you to live a life filled with abuse. He wants more for you than that.”
Originally I had worried about going to the priest. I felt ashamed. I had heard horror stories of abused women
going to their priest only to be told that they must stay no matter what. My priest was far more caring and he helped
me so much when he told me that.
What do you remember
them telling you or doing for you that made a huge impact on the future
direction of your life?
Not only did my parish priest tell me that I was made for
better but he also helped me find the help I needed to move forward through
this painful time.
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