When I was a high school senior I developed a crush on my English teacher. Certainly not a rare situation because many young people fancy themselves as much more mature than they truly are and believe that a certain person in authority understands them.
I can still remember dropping by his classroom the day before I was set to graduate to ask him if he’d like to attend a picnic that a few of the students and I were going to have that weekend. It was a bold move the life of a young girl in the midst of the women’s rights infancy to ask him for a date. Well not quite a date, more like a barely veiled attempt at a date.
I can still remember what happened next. He picked up a pile of papers from his desk and tried to straighten them while trying to find the right words to say.
“Cathy,” he said, “While I am very flattered by your invitation, I’m afraid that would be highly inappropriate. I do want to wish you well in all of your future endeavors though. Thanks for stopping by but I have to get these papers graded so I can get my grades in.”
The words hung there between the two of us while I stood there wishing for a hole that would open up and swallow me. I summoned up all my energy to walk out of the classroom with head held high instead of dashing out of the room in tears.
Looking back I know he did the right thing. It would have been very inappropriate for a young single male teacher to accept an invitation to attend a picnic that would have consisted of three girls and him.
I was reminded of this incident I watched Dr. Phil today. Today’s show featured thirty-year-old mother of four Melissa Dilan-Hernandez.
Melissa Dilan-Hernandez was charged with unlawful sexual activity with certain minors, stemming from her relationship with her fiancé, T.J., who is 17 years old and the father of her 4-month-old child. While Melissa she still doesn’t consider their relationship a crime, she is facing up to 15 years in prison and may have to register as a sex offender.
In the episode entitled In Love & Illegal Melissa explained to Dr. Phil that she doesn't think what she did was wrong and that she feels "attacked."
"I feel so much pressure. I am not a pedophile. I want people to know who I am. I'm not a bad person," she said.
"Don't you give me your sob story, lady," Dr. Phil barked at Melissa on the Tuesday episode. "I don't buy that crap!"
What kind of 28 year old woman date 15 ½ year old boy? Even more puzzling, what kind of 29 year old woman would agree to get PREGNANT by a 16 year old boy? While I can easily imagine some starry-eyed teenage girl believing that a baby would bring them closer together, we are talking about a grown woman who’s had three kids of her own.
A quick Google search reveals that Dilan-Hernandez holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Education. She has a couple of blogs with contain basically fodder from twitter as well as photos she hi-jacked from the internet. Her blogs include: mellisadilan.blogspot.com and melissathewriter.weebly.com in which she offers her services as a ghost writer and promises web traffic. She’s even writing a book entitled "Life is like a Box of Chocolates: An inspiring Novel.
When Dr. Phil brought TJ out we see a young man who’s faced a huge loss in his life after his mother abandoned him. Is it any wonder that he reached out for a substitute mother? While at times he may appear blindsided by his love for Melissa, he admits that he might not be willing to wait fifteen years for her to get out of jail. After all fifteen years is a long time.
T.J.’s father, Ed, and stepmother, Sea, weighed in with their thoughts on the relationship. Neither Ed nor Sea approved of the relationship but with the birth of their grandson they are trying to be supportive for the sake of the child.
Despite Melissa’s portrayal of a relationship filled with love and happiness we learn that this too is also a façade. There are reports that they screamed and fought all the time. Indeed, the police have been called numerous times about this controversial couple.
It appears that love may not conquer everything because the couple has now broken up because he cheated on her with another girl. This bit of information was not mentioned on today's show. As a matter if you check out Melissa’s Twitter account you may be surprised to see how quickly love flew out of the window as she hints at TJ’s criminal record.In the end, Melissa is not likely to spend much time in jail. Perhaps she may serve two to three years maximum. The courts tend to be sympathetic to females with babies so it is very possible, she may not get any state prison time at all