Wednesday, July 25, 2012

People Pleasers - A Heart Like His

 Today's Bible Study fom Beth Moore's David involves the topic of people pleasing.  Sadly I have been a slave to this debilitating condition. 

But some scoundrels said, “How can this fellow save us?” They despised him and brought him no gifts. But Saul kept silent. 1 Samuel 10:27
How has God been transforming you from a person always wanting to be liked and accepted into someone who simply wants to be obedient to the Lord, whatever the cost? 
Learning to get past the need for being liked and accepted is part of my personal journey.  In the past I put far more value in the opinions of others than being obedient to the Lord.  It is important to do what God wants, which may not necessarily be what people expect of us and this can cause people pleasers like myself to make poor choices when trying to please the wrong master.   
It's more important to concentrate on what God commands me to do, than it is to worry about outward appearances.  Obviously, there are times when the opinions of others are part of the plan of God for my life.  This is why it’s important that I seek counsel from godly men and women and not popular culture or people who are trying to mold me into their world view.
What are the most debilitating results of people pleasing?  What has this desire caused you to do (or not to do) in the past?
People pleasers like me try desperately to do the impossible, make everyone happy. In fact no one is happy - including me. I try to avoid anger and confrontation so I will attempt to “kill others with kindness” as self-defense camouflage.  In a way I use this behavior as an attempt to control the situation and helping me avoid negative outcomes.
I realize that this form of defense is rooted in my poor self-esteem which in turn is from the physical, emotional and verbal abuse I was subjected to growing up.  As an adult I have felt the need to be accepted by others. And not just a general acceptance, but that of each person I come in contact with.  Think about how CRAZY this is!
You see the problem is that as a practicing people pleaser, I allowed myself to get beat up by the world around me, I would come home each day in a state of despair

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