Thursday, July 9, 2009
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.
I guess I spoke too soon about my emailer/commenter. The interesting thing is that one sentence, one word has led me to believe that I now know who this person is. It was a word never mentioned here or in my letters but one I did write to one person because I was trying to figure out who this person was. I had supposed that it was one person but I realize after seeing that word in this latest communicaiton I have a much better sense of who I'm dealing with. I believe her name is Angie.
Let's start with the facts. Earlier this week I posted a news story that I thought was compelling. It was compelling because of the circumstances that surrounded it. I was surprised when I noticed that this one story had actually received a comment. I read the comment and it was from someone I assumed was either a family or friend of the person that the story was about.
I went back and forth about what I should do. Should I take the story down? Obviously the fact that it was up seemed to cause this person some pain. Should I leave it up? Obviously the original story was out there, as a matter of fact it is still out there and I'm certain that the story won't be taken down from those sites. I could say WWJD or as Obama would say WWSLW (What would a smart Latina woman do) and that wouldn't make the decision any clearer for me. You see Jesus would say, take down the story, which by the way I did. A Supreme Court Judge (which the wise Latina woman will be) would say the law protects the reporting of a news story and legally the truth is ALWAYS an absolute defense. Since the story was mostly in the words of the person concerned the TRUTH would never legally be in question.
What to do. What to do. What I did was to take down the story. I did what I thought was the kind thing to do I took the story down. That should be the end of the discussion. That should have been the end of it. Yet the very next day I noticed another post from the original person who once again acknowledged I had a right to my opinion but since SHE didn't like my opinion SHE was going to try to manipulate me.
Once again I realized that this person was dealing with grief. Bereavement for the loss of a loved one following suicide is unique to each individual, while at the same time, the process survivors tend to follow toward healing is surprisingly uniform. If your family is dealing with a suicide, you will most likely feel shock, disbelief, protest, disorganization, and anger.
I acknowledged that this person was suffering and I also made note of the fact that I had in fact removed the original story. I even offered some advice to her about dealing with the loss of a loved on. It's advice that I've had to follow. I suggested that she look for ways to honor the person that she cared for. I also recommended that she talk to other people who have had a loved one commit suicide. I felt that if she could find such a group they could help her to understand that there can be healing eventually even in the case of a suicide. Even though I offered to have her email me back I really didn't expect for her to do so.
Silly me. Just when I thought this was all behind me she writes me again. I think the most peculiar thing is that she constantly acknowledges my right to comment or write what I want but wants me to know that the story was never meant to be public. There is a cat and mouse game of well you were wrong about this and that BUT it's none of your business so I'm not going to tell you. She also lets me know that things are none of my business but yet she writes me back to make the story even bigger than it originally was.
If you watch the news a lot you will realize that a story has a life. Generally the shelf life of a story is short lived. You will notice if there is a scandal, politicians AVOID making comments because they realize that by making comments they only make the story that much more interesting.
If the emails and the comments would stop the story would die on it's own.
After I received her email last night I wrote her a condolence letter. Honestly since I honored her request to take a story down from my site because a request had been made. News sites never remove stories but I did. As I said you would have thought that the story would then be over. Instead people who continue to bring a story to the forefront often give new life to a story.
The original story would have been a small side note in my blog and that would have been the end of it. The information that the person is trying so hard to squelch on my site DOES exist other places over which I have absolutely NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER so writing me, commenting here does not re-write history. That information will forever be out there.
It reminds me of Albert Einstein's definition of insanity. "If you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result" that's insanity. If you say over and over remove a story that's already removed, what does one hope to accomplish?
I have not defamed anyone. Once again, the courts continually hold TRUTH as an absolute defense. I cannot be held responsible in any court in this country for another person's words. The law also holds that one cannot slander, liable, or defame the dead. Most people coming to this site have NO EARTHLY CLUE who I'm talking about. The could search my whole site and not see the "letter" because it's removed yet the email, just like the hits just keep coming.
So when I say the whole story gets curiouser and curiouser I meant it. The poke at me being a mother and a grandmother and how I should understand was the exact reason I took the story down THREE DAYS AGO. Like I said EVEN NOW the original story is not on my site.
Since that person is spending all their time emailing me and commenting on my blog what they should really do is google to find out what other sites have this story on their site. She might be surprised to discover that not only will THEY not remove the story but there are people discussing this story in their forum. I actually googled his name and found this out. I was shocked that what little I said on a site she found by googling caused her more grief than this other site.
I originally found out about this story because someone emailed it to me. I read it and then I googled the story and found out it was true. I thought about it for a few days before posting it. I would certainly be more worried about what friends and family would see in that forum than what they see in my blog. It might take her days to confront all the vile things that those people were saying about the incident and none of them know the whole story either. Then again I guess it was easier to keep coming at me because I was kind enough to take down the story originally.
Now how did I figure out this person's name was Angie? First of all I finally went onto the guestbook for the man the story was about. I did not post anything there because that would be very disrespectful. I have no beef with that person. Her comment was the second one on the site. How easy was that?
The END and I hope it is.