Monday, January 3, 2011

Potty Talk With Atlas

Do you remember when you were little? You probably laughed when someone said poop or butt as though it was the funniest thing you ever heard. "She said butt! She said butt!" You may have graduated to laughing at flatulence. The sound, the smell, who made it were all topics to be discussed ad nauseum.

Some people never outgrow their potty mouths or enthusiasm for bathroom humor but most of us do move on. While most of us do not wish to discuss our bathroom habits, some people want to announce how badly they need to relieve themselves comparing the expected amount to be comparable to that of a race horse. It is, however, not generally the subject people want to discuss in polite society.

This if of course unless they have children. Upon the appearance of our prodigy we suddenly become students of elimination. We discuss our child's bowel movements with other parents if we feel something is wrong. Was it big? Was it loose? Was it an unusual color? Perhaps it was the most you ever saw in your whole life in one diaper.

We applaud our children when they make in the potty and of course advertise to everyone we know that OUR child is now out of diapers.

We then go through a brief period of our lives when what goes on in the bathroom generally stays in the bathroom. This of course stops when we get old which brings about new opportunities to talk about our difficulties in that area or how oatmeal and prunes are keeping us regular.

I will violate societies rules on appropriate bathroom chatter in this post because Atlas, our miniature pinscher, performs these tasks in a way that is so unique, I think it's worth speaking about.

We spent the first few days he was here working on housebreaking him and it really wasn't until day three that he began to understand that one of the purposes of our walk was so that he could "do his business."

It was on that day he saddled up to the stop sign at the end of the block, lifted his back leg, and then with perfect accuracy managed to shoot a yellow stream between his front two legs rather than to the side towards the intended target. I had never seen anything like it but I've learned this is how "he rolls". Even to the point that when he wore his jacket he managed to soak the underside of his jacket.

If that wasn't weird enough it appears his show stopper trick involves his defecating. As he readies himself to to his "dooty" he begins to sniff and put his head down much closer to the ground. Suddenly he pulls both his back legs off the ground, and while supported only by his front legs he begins a circle. As he begins moving he begins dropping his load.

Once he's finished, he brings his legs back down, walks two steps forward, and then turns in the other direction throwing as much debris as possible in a direction about 45% opposite of where he made his deposit.

It was so funny the first time I witnessed it I couldn't wait to come home and tell my husband. He witnessed it the next time we went for a walk and felt that this whole little ritual deserved a video a la YouTube.

Personally I felt this was a little over the top but still the position Atlas is able to contort himself into was worth at least one photo. So we set out today to photograph the elusive Dance of the Poop. We were unsuccessful because every time he was getting ready to go a garbage truck would go by and break his concentration or another dog would begin yapping which would require him to growl and bark back.

I was curious, do any other dog owners have stories of their dog's peccadillos?

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